What is Dissociation?
The word dissociate means to “disconnect or separate.”
In the context of trauma, dissociation is the mind and body’s way of protecting you from experiences that feel too painful, unsafe, or overwhelming to fully process. It is a separating from emotions, felt sense and thoughts. It can show up as a response to both PTSD and Complex Trauma.
Bessel van der Kalk describes “Dissociation, a key component of trauma, disrupts the integration of experiences into a coherent whole, creating a dual-memory system where traumatic memories remain isolated and can be triggered as reactions rather than memories.”
It can show up as:
• Feeling “spaced out,” numb, or detached from your body
• Losing chunks of time or forgetting parts of conversations
• Watching yourself from the outside (as if in a dream)
• Feeling emotionally flat or disconnected from your feelings
• Escaping into daydreaming or fantasy
• Struggling to stay present during stressful or mundane tasks
On the surface, it might seem like you are zoning out or “just being forgetful,” but for many trauma survivors, dissociation becomes a default way of navigating life. If it has been present from childhood, you may not realise that this is what you are doing, because it is normalised. You might just assume everyone does that. Dissociation isn’t a flaw—it’s an adaptive response from a body that has worked hard to protect you. Freud has time and again established that dissociative personalities result from a defense mechanism created by our ego as a safeguard to protect us from traumatic memories. The memories trigger often get pushed to the unconscious mind and are forgotten.
Why Does Dissociation Happen?
When we experience trauma—especially during childhood—our nervous system learns to protect us, using either flight, fight, freeze or fawn. It also tends to favour one or two as our “go to” coping mechanism.
If fight or flight isn’t possible, the body may shut down instead. This freeze or numbing response allows us to survive experiences that would otherwise overwhelm our system.
Over time, this survival strategy can become deeply ingrained:
• A child who couldn’t escape a chaotic or unsafe home may learn to disconnect from their emotions to cope.
• A body that endured repeated stress might dull sensations to avoid feeling pain.
• An adult who experienced emotional neglect may continue to “leave” their body during conflict or vulnerability.
Everyone dissociates from time to time, like getting in the car to drive to the shops and not recollecting any of the journey. Most of the world dissociates through the use of their phone, hours can be lost in social media or watching Netflix. But, persistent dissociation is often rooted in unresolved trauma.
While dissociation may have once been lifesaving, and sometimes for trauma survivors can still be a useful tool - living in a chronic state of disconnection can make it difficult to:
• Feel safe in your body
• Regulate emotions
• Form healthy relationships
• Stay grounded in daily life
Signs You Might Be Dissociating
Dissociation exists on a spectrum but some common signs include:
• Frequent daydreaming or just blanking out
You find yourself mentally checking out, even during moments that you would like to be present for but your body is finding stressful. Or perhaps a difficult conversation, you might find it hard to concentrate or keep the thread of what is being said.
• Feeling detached from your body
You may not notice you are hungry, tense or tired until it’s extreme. Or you might feel like you’re watching life encased in cottonwool or through the wrong end of a telescope.
• Emotional numbness
Struggling to access your feelings or feeling like you’re going through the motions.
• Memory gaps or losing time
Forgetting parts of your day or feeling unsure how you got from one place to another.
• Out-of-body experiences
Feeling like you’re observing yourself from outside your body during stressful situations. This can also be confusing if you are on a spiritual path. It is easy to confuse real spiritual awakening with dissociation.
The Path Back to Your Body
Reconnecting after dissociation takes time, patience, and a deep sense of inner safety. Because dissociation is a nervous system response, healing happens slowly—through gentle, embodied practices that help rebuild trust with your body.
Some supportive practices include;
• Grounding exercises
Noticing your feet on the floor, the texture of what you’re sitting on, or taking slow breaths while naming things you can see, hear, and feel.
• Somatic movement or trauma-sensitive yoga
Gentle, intentional movement can help you reconnect with physical sensations becoming aware of interoception
• Body scanning
Bringing awareness to different parts of your body with curiosity (without needing to change anything).
• Orienting to your environment
Looking around the room and noticing what feels calming or pleasant can help signal safety to your nervous system.
• Creative expression
Writing, drawing, or using sound can help process emotions that feel difficult to verbalise.
Find videos of supportive practices here.
It’s important to approach these practices with compassion. There’s no rush to “fix” dissociation—your nervous system learned this response for a reason. Healing is about creating new pathways for safety and presence, little by little.
If you’re curious about exploring somatic practices or trauma-sensitive yoga to support nervous system repair and reconnection, I offer 1:1 sessions designed to meet you exactly where you are.